I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Your cock deserves a montage
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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