i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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