end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
