So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
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just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
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You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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