discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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