Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
ugly people sure do ruin things
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
