i would punch a child for taco bell
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
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