Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
