Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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