So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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