Do you still have your period?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
