these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Randomize
