I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
