Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Randomize
