FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
