I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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