why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
