He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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