You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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