Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize
