Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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