He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
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Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
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Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Come on in and take your pants off
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