I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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