I only kidnapped one of them. chill
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
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And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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