when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I need to stop coming to work sober
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize