there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Randomize
