forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
