I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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