she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
