You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
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