The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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