I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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