Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize