Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I'm passing your future prison.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
