dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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