I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
