There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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