Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
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