you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
