I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
