from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
