is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize