Hey man sorry I got all grabby
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
