NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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