I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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