SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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