I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
