how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
