but the lizard people decide everything anyway
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
