I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
