If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
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i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
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It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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