Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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