I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
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after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
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They have beer where we have blood.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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