Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
