Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
