my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
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