I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize