K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
