I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Watching her eat just hurts me
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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