I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
