Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Randomize
