Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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